Arieb is a Salty, Sassy Eggplant

By: Dhan P.

Detailing the utter chaos that was WCS MUN

Model United Nations is supposed to be the place where the leaders of tomorrow congregate. After Westmount’s first Model United Nations (MUN) conference, I can say with confidence, if we are the leaders of tomorrow, tomorrow won’t last too long. Let’s start with the Security Council, where delegates have the authority of their Head of State. This means that they can basically do whatever their country can do, which includes launching nukes. Also, the people running the Security council create events that the delegates have to deal with.

The first topic in the Security Council was the situation in Somalia. Somali Pirates kidnapped some Chinese citizens and nobody cared. Then, for some reason, France bombed its embassy in Somalia, and blamed Uruguay. Uruguay then bombed its own embassy and blamed Egypt. Egypt then bombed its own embassy, and blamed Uruguay. Uruguay then bombed the American embassy and blamed Egypt. It seems like no one liked their Somalian embassy. Now, for some reason, Ukraine built up troops on the Russian border, which led to Russia building up troops on the Ukrainian border. A small skirmish ensued, which wasn’t even a topic the delegates were even supposed to deal with. After that was dealt with, Russia blew up two nuclear plants, one in Japan, and one in the UK, because reasons.

At this point, things begin to get slightly absurd. Venezuela unsuccessfully tries to sabotage Saudi Arabian oil production in an attempt to boost oil prices, and with it, the Venezuelan economy. Now, the focus of the Security Council shifts to Venezuela. Everyone tries to send aid, but Venezuela refuses, citing sovereign-tea (that pun was actually made in the Security Council). The United States, Uruguay, and Egypt begin a full scale invasion of Venezuela from the east, which leads to Russia beginning a full scale invasion from the west. China then cuts Venezuela out of the ground using giant space lasers, because reasons. Venezuela is then lifted into the air using the entire Chinese air force, and cut in half using the space lasers. So in summary, embassies died, and so did Venezuela.

pizza.jpg

Ahh, the pure chaos of lunch. I didn’t even have the time to go into it, but you can see the aftermath. Maybe they should have gone with lettuce.

Now, on to the General assembly. In the GA, it was basically pure chaos. Whenever a working paper (which is just a resolution before being passed) was presented, there was virtually never a Question and Answer period before it was voted on. Voting was chaos as well, as the votes of the 50 or so nations never being exactly counted by the chairs. In one vote (which also happened to be the final resolution voted on), the chairs nearly counted a resolution passed, when it actually narrowly failed. That resolution happened to be the only one that did fail in the GA, and the reason it did is because the amount of votes needed to pass was raised due to too many resolutions being passed. There was also this one group who kept churning out resolutions in different parts. There was Part one and Part two, which was understandable. Then Part three was passed, which was wholly unnecessary, but ok. Then Part four was passed, which began to invoke feelings of despair. Part Five was nearly put to the table, but luckily the council moved onto another topic before it could be passed.

All in all, WCSHSMUN was a very productive conference (as well as a destructive conference, RIP Venezuela), where plenty got done, for better or for worse. While there were hiccups in the execution of the conference, it went fairly well overall, and even with the absurdity in the councils, it was a great Model UN. We’ll see you all next year!

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