By: Ford Energi
A picture of the walls and ceiling of the classroom where I’m writing this article.
With the destruction of Stadium Shopping Centre looming, the dropout rate for WCS is expected to skyrocket as it has been rumored that the tremors from the dynamite will affect the school Wi-Fi. The roadway next to Tim’s is going to be rebuilt somehow, we think that the bridge idea won the popular vote, just like Donald Trump. How will we survive this construction? Will we all die? Probably for the second question, but what about the first? Will you find out more if you click on the ‘read more’ link? Yes you will, so please click it.
We were unable to get a interview with the city or anyone working on the projects, but luckily we were able to talk to local student Cathryn R. Smith*. “It won’t affect me at all,” she said, “I don’t go to WCS.” But not everyone is so unaffected by the construction. “Where will we go to get food?” cried one 7th grader. Another poor soul was also worried that he would get dust in his hair. We know this as he said, “I don’t want my hair to be leave beauty like the UK from the EU”. A study in 1908 found that construction increases a person’s risk of diabetes by 110%. Oh yeah, the dropout rate for WCS is expected to skyrocket as it has been rumored that the tremors from the dynamite will affect the school Wi-Fi. More after the break; you can’t afford to miss this.
The dedicated staff of [whatever this newspaper is called] have unfortunately not done much research and don’t even know that the road under construction is 16th Ave and that the hospital is making a new Cancer Centre and updating a parking garage. For more information on the construction look it up on the internet, I don’t know much people who get their information from a monthly school newspaper that has more random news than school news.**
*If you know a Cathryn R. Smith then we apologize for interviewing she/you without her/your knowledge.
** Actually I do. Me.