How to Properly Prepare and Give a Present

Matthew W.

It’s Christmas, and for the purposes of this article, it’s time to give people stuff. Here, you can find out how to give any gift a little more bang for your buck.
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The present

Before we continue, we need to find a gift. If you already have one, go ahead, use it. But if you can’t think of one, there’s always the good old trick of not actually buying anything and giving them money. The rest of this article will be using money as an example, but the same things still work for a lot of other gifts.

First things first, convert the money into coins, it makes for a better effect. Just make sure you know what you’re doing if you’re getting to the point of nickels; pennies are off limits. Think of the cashiers that have to count that! Dimes are a safe bet, but it’s not as much as you think. Look at the picture of the article, that is literally 100 dimes, $10 worth of dimes, it’s pathetic!

Boxing

You know when someone buys you a gift (like a gift card) and puts it in a really big box so you don’t know that it’s just a tiny little thing? Yeah, amateurs. What you’re going to do is put all your coins in a video-game box, stuff that in a reusable bag, tie that up, put it in some plastic bags, tie those up, put it all in 6-pack of pepsi box, bag that, and then finally you get to put that in a large cardboard box filled with rocks. Some other ideas of what to put your coins into include: milk carton, soda can, toilet paper roll (tape the ends), giant ball of electrical/packing tape, box of another product. It’s unique for each person, and so you can personalize it for each recipient.

Wrapping

Now the work begins. Though wrapping paper works wondrously, chances are you have a limited supply of that. What you want is newspapers, normal paper, tissues/toilet paper, etc. For tape, try to get your hands on tape that is hard to get off. Here is the order of least favourable to most favourable: scotch tape, masking tape, duct tape, packaging tape, electrical tape. Now that we have all the materials, let’s get to the actual wrapping process.

You want to wrap everything. Your coins, the game box, the cardboard box, the gift card, as much as you can. Secondly, you want to wrap everything in as many layers as possible. They’re not going to be neat layers (neither do they need to be), but each layer should be secure. Stay away from glue, tape works much better. There’s also a secret weapon: saran wrap. Layer upon layer of saran wrap means they will actually spend more time opening the gift than you spent wrapping it! But hey, the more time you spend, the more you care, right?

For the outermost layer, I would recommend a layer of actual wrapping. Try to make it seem like a legit present on the surface, with actual wrapping paper and at least what looks like an attempt to wrap properly. But underneath that, you know what to do.

Now some of you might be doubting the legitimacy of this article, I assure you it is genuine. You can be that one guy everybody remembers at a party, who gave that one BS gift. The reaction you get at delivery is great and the legacy you’ll leave behind is even better.

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