How to Find Love in a Hopeless Place

We all know that high school sucks, and if you don’t know yet; well spoiler alert, it really really suckHigh School.jpgs. Between an onslaught of work and work and more work it’s hard to find the will to keep on going. One great way to get through your sentence in hell is to find special someone you can call your soulmate, someone who makes you feel special that you can call your own and then break up with the next day. So holla’ if you’re single cause this one’s for you.

Guys: Well, it’s pretty simple. Just think about the most arrogant egotistical jerk you could possibly think of, and be him. Do everything he would do, act exactly like he would.  Self confidence has to radiate out of you like the ugliness that radiates out of Donald Trump’s hair. You need to shove it into everyone’s face, show them just how perfect you know you are. Your friends’ only purpose are to be your slaves, it has to be clear that you are the leader in the group, you have to be the alpha. The gym is your new home, because let’s be real, your face probably sucks. Flex constantly, seriously, never stop. You never know when a girl’s gonna punch you in the gut, but when she does, you’ll be ready.

 

Girls: Super easy, more skin=more guys. Think of it this way, teenage guys are pretty much mindless blobs of sexual thirstiness. So if you want a boyfriend in highschool, the easiest way is to be as sexy as you possibly can be. That means crop tops and super short shorts are your new best friends. Who cares if it’s cold out, sexyness is your priority! Next you need to get the curves like Nicki Minaj, but please, less plastic.
Ok, let’s be serious. If you really want to find love in this hopeless hell then all it really takes is patience. The cliches speak truth, be yourself and simply wait, it’ll come sooner or later (probably later than sooner). Be confident and believe in yourself, then hopefully, eventually, love will find it’s way to you.

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