By Kathryn S.
University is getting more and more expensive every day, and harder and harder to get a scholarship, but if you follow these few tips and tricks you are bound to get lots of money for university.
First, you need to start a club. It can’t be something boring though. A couple brilliant ideas are: Tumblr Girls Anonymous, The Hummus Society or The Zombie Survival Club. Stuff like this looks really good on university applications.
Second, you need to have an interesting life. Universities don’t care about people with boring lives. Go to lots of parties in high school, it proves you’re not boring. If you do have a boring life I suggest you try to be Miranda Sings. I guarantee your life will become 500x more interesting immediately. If you don’t know who that is then there is basically no hope for you in life.
Always have your nails painted. Even if you’re a boy. It makes you look smarter and more involved with politics, which universities love. Some good colour choices are: black, shrek green and pylon yellow.
On your application sheet you need to mention your favorite type of wine, even if you don’t like wine. Wine is for classy people and universities dig classy people.
Speak in texting-lingo. Just do it. All the time. I have compiled a complete list for you to refer to if you ever feel like you need to be cooler.
Just make sure you use all of these words at least twice every hour.
The last thing you need to do is post play-by-plays on every single sporting event ever on every social media possible. That’s right. Not only will universities love your interest in the world, your friends and family will too! I’m talking Facebook Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, We Heart It, Pinterest and all that jazz. Oh a post lots of questionable photos with your questionable friends. It makes you look super cool and university ready.
If you follow all of these steps very closely there is no doubt that you will get lots of money. Good luck to you!